Subject: CanCon Junction
Date: Thursday, Rocktober 10, 2003
Background: Gerry and Larry are at a Canadian music awards show. Larry blurts out that "Nickelback is the new Triumph." A half glass of gin and tonic was up Gerry's nose by the time Larry says, "It's all cyclical, man." And so the games began.
Everybody's talking about the new sound. Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me. And the new versions of the old scene are...
- Larry -
Nickelback is the new Triumph.
- Gerry -
Celine Dion is the new Anne Murray.
Jason Plumb is the new Gordon Lightfoot. Check out Plumb's new album before you call him the new Murray McLachlan. Rob "Swany" Swan has also suggested that Plumb is one variety show away from being the new Tommy Hunter.
Hawksley Workman is the new Aldo Nova. However, on any given day, he could also be the new Andy Kim or even the new Gowan.
Actually, David Usher is the new Gowan.
Avril Lavigne is the new Alanis. But not the new Alanis Morrissette.
Alanis Morrissette is the new Luba.
Default is the new Trooper.
Hot Hot Heat is the new Men Without Hats.
Theory Of A Deadman is the new Fist. That being said TOADM will never, ever write a classic the magnitude of a "Hot Spikes."
Bif Naked is the new Lee Aaron.
The Weakerthans are the new Watchmen.
Sam Roberts is the new Bryan Adams.
I wanted so badly for Tegan and Sara to be the new Martha and the Muffins. But, alas, they are not. [Timmy suggests they're the new Lava Hay.]
Shania Twain wishes she were the new Kitty Wells.
54:40 is the new 54:40.
Into Eternity is the new Voi Vod, or perhaps even the new Anvil. The Regina connection could also make IE the new Kick-Axe.
Adam Gregory is the new Paul Brandt.
Corb Lund is the new Hank Snow.
John Ford is the new Teenage Head. Wait a minute, there will never be a new Teenage Head.
Live On Release is the new West End Girls.
Sum 41 is the new Frank Soda and the Imps.
Aaron Lines is the new Jason McCoy.
Edwin and the Pressure is the new Goddo.
Danko Jones is the new Wild T and the Spirit
Danny Michel is the new Alfie Zappacosta.
40 Foot Echo is the new Coney Hatch.
Flybanger is the new Sven Gali.
burnthe8track is the new DOA.
- Petey -
Rufus Wainright is the new Carol Pope.
Nickelback is actually the new Loverboy.
The Moffatts are the new Colin Butler.
Sum 41 is the new Teenage Head.
Sloan is the new Trooper. They could also be the new Lighthouse.
Amanda Marshall is the new Alanah Myles.
Sam Roberts is the new Robbie Neville.
Ben Mulroney is the new Alan Thicke.
- Timmy -
Hawksley Workman is the new Gregory Hoskins and The Stickpeople.
Peaches is the new Carol Pope.
Be Good Tanyas are the new Crash Vegas.
Stars are the new Spoons.
Buck 65 is the new Maestro Fresh Wes.
Rufus Wainright is the new Bob Wiseman.
Our Lady Peace is the new Frozen Ghost.
Big Sugar is the new Colin James.
New Pornographers are the new Toronto.
The Sadies are the new Band.
Moxy Fruvous were the new Nylons.
- Davey via El Floydo -
Bran Van 3000 was the new Parachute Club.
Sarah McLachlan is the new Anne Murray.
Theory of a Deadman is more like the New Northern Pikes. If you recall, the Pikes won Rockwars on CBC (hosted by Brad Giffen, on after Good Rockin' Tonite).
Great Big Sea is the new Glass Tiger.
- E.Z. -
Avril Lavigne is the new Allanah Miles (and will be paid due tribute in strip clubs from coast to coast for generations).
Art Bergman is the new Jerry Doucette (minus the one hit).
Jeff Healy is the new Jerry Doucette (minus the 12-step program).
Big Sugar is the new Steppenwolf.
The Cash Brothers are the new Chilliwack.
Colin James is the old Colin James.
Edwin, Our Lady Peace, and Moist are no Helix, and yet they're the new Helix.
Finger Eleven is the new Sven Gali.
Gord Downie would like to be the new Leonard Cohen, but he's really the new Gino Vanelli. And somehow a bit Pat Metheny.
Jann Arden is the new Joan Baez.
John McDermott is the new John Allan Cameron.
Jim Cuddy is the new Gordon Lightfoot.
Chantal Kreviazuk is the new Sylvia Tyson.
Whether the Matthew Good Band is the new Platinum Blonde is debatable, whether Matthew Good is the new Mark Holmes is not.
New Pornographers is the new Gene Dlouhy's All-Star Band.
Paul Brandt is the new Blake Emmonds.
Over-the-top Canadian Idol Ryan Malcolm is of course the new Corey Hart. Second Place Gary Beals, if he works hard enough, can still avoid being the new Choclair. And I so want Audrey de Montigny to be the new Mitsou.
Shania Twain is the new Bryan Adams.
The Tea Party is the new Saga.
Treble Charger is the new Kick Axe.
Velvet Empire is the new Carleton Showband.
Wide Mouth Mason is the new April Wine during that brief period when Myles Goodwyn left the band and they didn't have any hits (with an April Wine reference ripped straight from Gerry).
The Barenaked Ladies are the new Irish Rovers.
Great Big Sea are also the new Irish Rovers.
And so are Captain Tractor, Irish Descendants, Leahy, The Mahones, Rawlin's Cross, Skydiggers and Sprit of the West.
Ashley MacIsaac is the new Rita MacNeil, who is the new Rankin Family, and the Rankins were definitely the new Irish Rovers.
Loverboy was the new Irish Rovers too.
Kittie is the new Cub (who were a female punk version of the Irish Rovers).
And if the course of Canadian music trivia is predestined by the gods, the next step is surely "Six Degrees of Irish Rovers."
How many Canadian bands can trace their influence back to the Irish Rovers?
Irish Rovers Home Page: http://www.irish-rovers.demon.co.uk/
Heaven Can Wait: http://www.canoe.ca/JamMusicArtistsI/irishrovers.html
And one of the best misheard lyrics ever: http://www.amiright.com/misheard/artist/irishrovers.shtml
Oh wait, they all can. Every Canadian band can trace its roots back to the Irish Rovers. But if you can top any of the above, send'em over.
And now for the real new game. It goes like this:
Nickelback is Canada's Creed.
Snow is Canada's Eminem.
Leonard Cohen is Canada's Lou Reed.
Celine Dion is Canada's Barbra Streisand.
Ian and Sylvia were Canada's Sonny and Cher
Maestro Fresh Wes is Canada's Flava Flav.
Slik Toxik is Canada's Poison.
Your turn. Your deadline is next Thursday, Rocktober 17, 8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific.
Peace, Love, and Long Weekends,